My husband and i have caught our 16 yesr old vaping a number of times since last Sept. First we got angry and grounded him. We told him the rules and consequences but soon caught him again. We had him see a counselor, then when we caught him again, tried to not be angry and have him try to see the negative effects trying to use trust and compassion. But we also still grounded him bc that was our boundary that we had set and he had broken.
It is now months later and i just found some vaping substances in his room while he was sleeping. I am at wits end as a parent. I know i cant control him ultimately and try to focus on how i want to show up as a parent. But i have so many anxious thoughts about how he is going to harm himself or others if he continues this way.
My question is what model should i have? I know im a good parent so i dont think its a thought about that. It may be around being okay with the worst that could happen: he gets in trouble with the law, he hits someone while driving under the influence, he overdoses. But i wont be okay with any of that!
Also, besides the model, what actions should i be taking next? I feel like ive exhausted the options. Help!