Victim mentality

Hi Brooke

I wrote the where to start or how to start question, I just wanted to ask if I went to a live coaching call so I have to tell them the background story again or do we tell you in advance before you book on to a call.

I also wanted help for not indulging in victim mentality, I noticed I like to feel defensive and I like I have to protect myself as people can hurt me and I can’t trust anyone as everyone hurts me even my own family. I isolate myself from socialising/making plans as I don’t want to feel needy or be dependent on people but then at the sametime I feel lonely and I don’t want to be the one always organising and asking to meet up as I think they don’t really want to meet up with me. I have thoughts like I don’t understand why people like me and want to be my friend. Likewise I think I’m unlovable and I will never find anyone so I don’t take any action to find someone but then I feel lonely still and overeat sometimes due to feeling alone, being bored and the thought I will always be alone. I think something bad will happen to me cause of the past and I’m always worried about what will unexpectedly happen because of the thoughts about my past such as something always bad happened when you started to feel like everything was going to be ok and still live with my parents so I don’t feel safe as I don’t trust my dad to do things above board so anything could happen is one of my thoughts still.

I often turn to food then as I think it will make me feel better or good but I know this is not true and it’s down to my thoughts so I’m trying to practice new thoughts. Any good thoughts you can think to help when your in the middle of an urge and you’ve responded but want to get back on track instead of continuing to keep overeating. I don’t know how to stop wanting this dopamine rush you get from overeating as I don’t want to get it from food. I’m not overweight but the overeating hinders me from achieving the look I want to create for myself. The only thing that does make me feel better and good is when I do well in the gym but then when I overeat I go further away from that and feel ashamed and guilt. I also like getting praise from my PT as i think it makes me feel good but I know it’s my thoughts and I shouldn’t be seeking outside approval for this. Sometimes when I think of the gym and how and what I want to achieve there I can stop myself but I wondered if you had any ideas on how to keep yourself focussed on what you truly want and desire when your faced with giving into the urges/getting the dopamine hit