Hello my amazing friend! So I caught myself doing this thing. Here’s the situation. My husband and I have differing opinions on a subject. We state our stances to each other. When he hears my opinion, he often comes around to agreeing with me. During the conversation, he’ll say something like, “Okay, let’s do that.”
Here’s what I caught myself doing: After he’s agreed and we’re on the same page, I KEEP ON TALKING like he didn’t agree with me – like I’m STILL trying to convince or justify my stance. It’s like my brain says – “Oh now that he agree with you, let’s hash out all the reasons you were right in the first place.”
I caught myself doing this a couple of days ago and actually said out loud to him: “I’m just going to quit talking now.”
He laughed and told me that I do that all the time. I’ve been doing models on this – like lots of them.
T: He’s just saying yes to get me to quit talking
T: He loves me and doesn’t want to argue, so he gives in.
T: Even though he said yes, he’s still not convinced the plan’s a good one.
T: He doesn’t have faith in my idea, so I’ll give him more evidence
How do I want to be? Loving toward myself and my husband. However, I’m not coming up with ITs that feel true and better. Please help me with some thoughts and insight.
Love you, Thanks!