I’m trying to understand why it is important to coach ourselves to a place of compassion in spite of our loved ones saying unkind things to us or physically harming us or doing something that many of us think violates our boundaries.

Let’s say that my husband has gambled away all of my money, is an alcoholic, and says cruel things to me and my kids. I’m trying to understand why the advice in this case wouldn’t just be: just leave your husband. I am curious about why we need to coach ourselves to a place of compassion first and then decide to leave. That feels like a waste of time (the time wasted being on coaching yourself to a place of compassion when you could have been getting a divorce lawyer). I think I’m missing something. Can you please explain?