Work load and terror

Hi, Brooke! Due to circumstances I won’t go into, except that among other things I have a new non-academic Dean who doesn’t understand the concept of doubling up sections to make the work load manageable, I am teaching six different college classes this semester, including two I have never taught before. I agreed to this, so I am responsible, but I am frankly terrified.

I also see this, however, as a golden opportunity to manage my mind and practice just getting to work. I have been doing models to manage my fear:

C: Six different classes
T: I am not organized or disciplined enough to manage this.
F: fear
A: work with constant fear, sometimes shut down, don’t get to work immediately
R: Always feeling behind and struggling to keep up

C: Six different classes
T: I can disrupt the cycle of paralysis and work with calm and focus
F: calmer
A: I regularly give myself space to regroup, then get to work and get it done
R: I stay on top of things and the fear lessens

As I prepare for the semester, which starts tomorrow, my impossible goal of writing 1000 words of my book every day has, however, flown out the window. My impossible goal was to write at least 100k words by March 31. I got to approximately 22k before semester prep took over.

I would like to do both: write a book, and manage WELL a schedule that my brain keeps telling me is an inhuman work load.

The result I want is accomplish everything I need and want to do this semester with peace, productivity, focus, ease, and joy. I also want to do A+, not B-, work.

I am not sure which (believable) thoughts I can find to create those feelings and get back there with ease every time the fear rises. Maybe I’m trying to make it go away? Can I?

All help much appreciated.