I just discovered a model from a few years ago that I’ve been living sub models of. Could that be?

C: boss says I’m awesome
T: no I’m not, stop!
F: shame
A: stop showing up the way I was when he would say that
R: I’m not awesome and not the same hardworking employee

C: don’t show up as hardworking employee (so many little Cs here)
T: I hate myself
F: shame
A: question my ability, don’t gain skills related to work
R: mistrust myself, not my best work, afraid to try because I’ll beat myself up

This is so interesting to me because I used to be sooo gung ho about work until he said I was awesome! And then I would almost want him to scold me or punish me. I guess I’ve been doing that all on my own though because I hate who I’ve become in my job. It’s not who I want to be at all!

C:
T: that’s right, I am awesome and hardworking. Watch this! I’m gonna blow my mind
F: motivated
A: productive, my best work
R: proud of myself and accomplishments