My daughter is 15 and has a similar body type to mine. I gained a lot of weight at her age and that makes me worried she will too. She is currently very fit. She was a competitive gymnast for many years and quit a few months ago. This made me nervous that she would gain weight when she quit gymnastics, but she joined a CrossFit gym and maintained her strength and fitness doing that. However now that school is starting she is stopping CrossFit and I find myself worried that she will lose all her fitness and gain weight, like I did at that age. She is not really very motivated to work out on her own and I know the motivation has to come from within.

I feel like a bad mom for having these thoughts. I realize it is my internalized fat phobia that I inherited from messages growing up. I also want to spare her the pain I experienced when I gained excess weight as a teenager. I don’t want to say anything to her, because I realize it is just my anxiety about the situation, not hers. I realize my mind is thinking, if she would just be able to do a sport again she could stay fit and then I wouldn’t have to worry.

Here is my model:
C: Daughter is stopping CrossFit
T: Oh no, she will gain weight and that would be terrible. I don’t want her to suffer like I did.
F: Alarmed
A: Ruminate, over focus on her body, what she eats, possibly unintentionally send message to her that her weight is important
R: I create suffering for myself, I possibly harm my relationship with her

I’m struggling to create an intentional model.

New model:
C: Daughter is stopping CrossFit
T: I trust that life will lead her to find the things that are important to her (?)
F: Calm
A: Don’t obsess, don’t over focus on weight/exercise
R: ?

Any help is appreciated. Thanks.